


Higher

by LilyK



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M, Plot What Plot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 07:06:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair thinks about what happened last night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Higher

Thanks Double R for the great beta job. 

Rampant mushiness and romance. 

This story is a sequel to: Something Happened On The Way To Heaven 

* * *

You know how some mornings you're just so darned comfortable that you don't want to wake up? Well, this morning is like that. Just like that song about fighting to stay asleep and not wanting to leave the comfort of your dreams. God, I'm warm and comfortable and fulfilled and loved. I grin and run a hand through my tangled hair, pulling it back from my face so I can see. I stop and wince when I pull on a knot. One of these days... I muse and then laugh out loud. Wait. Things have changed. Changed big time. Now I'll ask my lover what he thinks. Should I or shouldn't I? Cut my hair, that is. Who knows? Maybe I'll cut it someday, but not today. 

I laugh again and stretch every muscle and tendon several times. Man, I feel great. I stop and listen, thinking that Jim must be down in the bathroom since he's not here in bed with me, but after I wait several minutes and since I don't hear anything, I roll from the bed, grabbing one of Jim's shirts. I hold it up to my nose, breathing in the fragrant Jim smell. Just the touch of my lover's shirt makes my heart start to race and the smell of his body excites me. I trot down the stairs, pulling the extra-large t-shirt over my head, and head for the bathroom. The door is open. No Jim. I make a quick search of the loft, but Jim is definitely not home. I go back to the bathroom for a quick pee when I see the note taped to the mirror over the sink. 

"B. Running errands. Will bring lunch. Be home by noon. Love, J." 

I grin stupidly as I pull the note down and smooth it carefully against the edge of the sink. I want to keep this. Jim signed it "love". The first time he's written it down. I think about last night. Last night is when, for the first time, he said the words; he told me he loved me. I hope he tells me that often. I smile as I shower and I'm still grinning while I shave. I have a hard time wiping the smile from my face so I can shave and not cut myself. 

Shampooed, shaved and dressed, I decide I might as well give this disaster of a room of mine a quick cleanup before Jim gets home. That's when I start to think too much. It has to be the cleaning. Cleaning house is dangerous work. While the hands are busy, it gives the mind too much room to wander. 

Shit, what happens if Jim has regrets? Well, he did sign the note "love". He wouldn't have signed it that way if he didn't mean it. Maybe he's had more time to think about it? He could have decided that he made a mistake. After all, he let me fuck him. I stop and shake my head while I change the sheets on my bed. No, it wasn't like that. Not like that at all. I've fucked lots of women. I've loved a few. But with Jim, that wasn't fucking. I didn't fuck him. I made love with him and to him. 

I sit down on the edge of the newly-made bed and considered the consequences. I'm in love with Jim Ellison. Jim Ellison is a guy. Not only that, Jim Ellison is a cop. He has a reputation to uphold. He's admired by a lot of people at the precinct. This could change their opinion of him. I can tell we have a lot to talk about. 

Well, I'm his partner, and most of the guys at work seem to like me, too. I smile, thinking about Jim. We make a good team. We understand how each other works. We've survived plenty of rough patches and now we know what makes the other tick. I grin, standing and tossing dirty clothes into a laundry basket. We make each other tick. I like the way that sounds. 

I survey the room quickly, making several neat piles of the books and papers scattered around. I'm always reading and writing about something these days. Since I've become a detective and finished my PhD, I've been asked to write several articles for various magazines from an anthropologist/detective's perspective on police work. I've found a niche that I never even dreamed of when my study of Sentinels was over and done with, permanently. Now I find that I love to write about anything and people tell me that I'm good at it. It doesn't hurt a hell of a lot that I get paid to write. Hey, a guy's got to have some cash. 

I'm putting the finishing touches on the room when another thought crosses my mind. Is this still my room? Will Jim and I just have an occasional gratifying sexual encounter and I'll be banished back to this small space? I shake my head. What the fuck is wrong with you, Blair? The man said he loves you. I think about that for a second. Where's your confidence in yourself? How about having some confidence in Jim? I guess I'm a bit apprehensive. Hell, I've never done this before. Oh, I've had sex, plenty of times, but I've never really been in love. 

Whoa, Blair. You've never been in love? I think about that. Well, I thought I was in love with Maya. Yeah, I was. I know I was never in love with Sam. I love my mom, but that's totally different. Have I really, truly ever been in love? I examine my feelings. How do I feel about Jim? I chuckle. I feel horny. No, man, really. I feel like I love him more than I've ever loved anybody. I love him with my body and my mind. But even more, I love him with my very soul. 

I grab a broom and dust pan from the corner of the kitchen and sweep the floor of my old room. At least I hope it's my "old" room. I want to share my room and my life with Jim. But his room's bigger. So I want to share Jim's room and my life with Jim. I laugh and finish sweeping. I put the broom away and dump the dirt into the trash bin when I hear the key in the door. Jim! 

My heart skips a beat and I find myself sweating. I'm nervous! I can't believe it. I'm actually scared. What will I say? What will he say? What will I do? More importantly, what will he do? I stand in the middle of the kitchen waiting until Jim (Jim! my heart sings) strides into the loft. He's been tuned into my heartbeat because as he pushes the door closed with his foot, his eyes look right to me. I smile and move toward him, reaching out and taking a couple of the sacks he is carrying from his hands. 

"Hey, Chief." Jim smiles at me. 

"Hey, Jim." I smile back. 

We put the bags on the counter and I start to put away the groceries. Jim and I work together and everything is stowed in record time. 

"I've brought that veggie lasagna you like from Marina's for lunch." Jim tells me. 

I grin. "Oh, man, that's great. I love all that cheese and those homemade noodles." 

Jim smiled at me. " You sound like you're hungry, Blair." 

I stand very still several feet away and nod. "Yes." 

Jim watched me closely. "I had your car towed to Sammy's. He's going to look at it for you." 

I nod again. "Okay. Thanks." I stumble over the last word. 

Why does my voice sound so tentative? Suddenly, I'm tongue-tied. I don't know exactly what to say. I swallow and shift from one foot to the other while I nervously push a loose strand of hair behind my ear. Please, Jim, say something, I plead silently. 

Jim looks at me intently, then he holds out his arms. I cross the space between us in two strides and throw my arms around his waist. I press myself to him tightly. His arms slip around my shoulders and hold me close. I feel his hand lightly caress the back of my head and his fingers burrow through my hair to rub the back of my neck. I sigh deeply and I know he hears the hitch in my breathing because I feel him pull his head back. I know he's looking down at me. My face is buried in his chest so Jim kisses the top of my head gently. That is my undoing. I don't know what the hell happens, but I'm suddenly sobbing. He holds me tightly for several minutes until I manage to regain my composure. 

Then Jim puts a finger under my chin and tilts my face up towards him. Have I mentioned how wonderfully we fit together? Did I even realize it until now? All he has to do is lean down slightly and all I have to do is tilt my head up slightly and voila! our lips meet. Just perfectly. Jim brushes a soft kiss against my waiting mouth. His lips are warm and moist and wonderful. I snake a hand behind his head and press our lips together, losing myself in the warmth and love. 

When we finally part, Jim smiles at me. It's not a friendly smile. It's a whole body smile complete with the crinkles around his eyes. I grin from ear to ear. 

"Oh, Jim, man, I'm sorry. I just freaked for a second. I don't know what happened. One minute I'm okay, the next I'm falling apart. I'm really sorry." 

Jim chuckles. "Blair, it's okay. Don't even worry about it. I know how you feel. I was a bit scared myself." 

I smile as I wrap my arms back around his waist and lace my fingers together. His arms rest on my shoulders. I didn't even realize how flawlessly we fit together until then. I fit nicely against him. His arms fit nicely around me. Oh, man, this is great. 

"We have a lot to talk about." I inform my lover. 

"After lunch." My lover informs me. 

I nod and the two of us set the table and eat. I hadn't realized just how hungry I was. Now things are just a bit more settled. The lasagna is delicious. Jim looks even more delicious. I can't keep my eyes or my hands off of him. He just smiles even more every time I touch his hand or his arm or his shoulder. 

With lunch finished and dishes finally done after many pauses for kisses, Jim and I drift to the sofa. I sit and curl my feet under me. Jim lies down with his head in my lap. I stroke his soft hair and we talk. 

"I love you." I tell him. 

"I love you." Jim replies. He takes my hand and kisses the palm and then just holds it against his chest. 

"This isn't going to be easy." I say. He nods. "This is important to me. You're important to me. I don't want to ever hurt you." I swallow hard. 

Jim blinks and smiles. "I want this, Blair, more than you know. This is my life too, and I've made up my mind." 

I nod and continue caressing his hair. "I need this to be forever, Jim. Can you make that kind of a promise?" 

Jim sits up and takes my hand in his. "I promise you, Blair, that this is forever. Just you and only you, always." 

My throat starts to tighten again. I nod and blink rapidly. "Me, too. Jim. This is forever. Always and forever, just you." 

Jim pulls me into his arms and we seal our pact with a kiss. He nuzzles my hair and whispers into my ear, "I want to make love with you." 

His voice gives me goosebumps. I whisper, "Oh, yes, Jim. Please." And so he does. Totally. Completely. Wonderfully. Passionately. He takes me to our bedroom (Yes! Our bedroom!) and loves me like I've never been loved before. Sure, he's the first guy I've ever had, but more importantly, he's the first real love I've ever had. 

Jim is sweet and gentle. He is loving and very, very thorough. I expected nothing less. Jim watches my face when I come. He smiles and laughs and kisses. He touches everywhere and everything. He licks everywhere and everything. He sends me into orbit. All he has to do is grin and I'm a goner. I plead my undying love and affection and everything I own (which isn't much) as he sends me screaming through two orgasms. I'm overjoyed and overwhelmed. I've never felt so loved, so needed, so important in my whole life. 

Afterwards, after I've been taken to the edge of heaven and back more than once, I experience something equally wonderful and miraculous. After I can finally focus and think. My Jim gathers me in his arms and kisses my face over and over, telling me how much he loves me. He promises me once again that we'll always be together. And I believe him. I always believe Jim. I fall asleep cradled against his strong chest and held in his strong arms and loved by his strong heart. 

You know what he said when I asked him, why me? Jim just shrugged and looked at me kind of funny and said, you're kidding, aren't you? Like I should know what's he sees in me. Like I am what he's been looking for all his life. Like I deserve him after all. Maybe I do. No, actually, I'm sure I do. 

* * *

End Higher by LilyK: chakbalam@netscape.net

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